All in Parenting
It’s a national embarrassment that we continue to be one of a handful of countries in the world without such a program, but there’s one silver lining in having waited this long: we have the opportunity to do it right the first time around, and create a paid parental leave program inclusive of *all* parents. Such a policy would also make things right with the LGBTQ and adoption community—who are disproportionately denied paid time off.
Regardless of what happens on Election Day this year, our current elected officials need to do the right thing and codify LGBTQ Marriage Equality into national law. And then Congress needs to turn its attention to expanding new rights, not just protect old ones. Enacting paid parental leave — something a majority of both parties actually agree on, and that will confer new rights and protections to LGBTQ families, not just enshrine old ones — may be one of the only areas to make that happen.
Concerned about losing access to pregnancy care, and fearful of legal consequences, surrogates and those who work with them are rewriting contracts and changing the way they operate.
A new book of photography by Burt Heynen features the intimate moments of queer dads in America. American culture has not been particularly starved of images of gay fatherhood, particularly in recent years. It no longer feels revelatory to see them on television, as it did when “Modern Family” premiered in 2009. Less common are images of gay fathers who aren’t Instagram ready — like two men combing their daughters’ hair. Read the article here.
While the United States remains one of the few countries where gestational surrogacy is legal, and widely practiced, it continues to be a source of heated debate. Often missing from the conversation, however, are perspectives of surrogates themselves — and the varied, sometimes deeply personal, reasons that compel them to become surrogates. Read the article here.
On any given day in the United States, over 400,000 children, who have been temporarily or permanently removed from their biological families, are dependent on the country’s foster care system. Yet a perennial challenge facing the child welfare system is recruiting enough foster parents to meet the need — a problem that has worsened during the pandemic.
The pandemic has created new challenges in the foster care system and exacerbated old ones — creating delays in placements and adoptions and forcing some older youth to exit the system amid a public health and economic crisis. The response, moreover, hasn’t been uniform across the country, or nearly fast enough, say child welfare advocates. Read the article here.
The pandemic is not just impacting parents and pregnant people — all prospective parents are facing new challenges.
This article is part of “The Price of Modern Parenting” series for the New York Times.
Each adoption process shares the same ultimate purpose: to unite children who need families with those that want children. Yet, despite this common goal, the price tag of adoption in the United States varies widely.
LGBTQ parents eager to show their kids the world are helping usher in a more diverse and welcoming era in hospitality. Travel + Leisure print edition, November 2019 issue.
To consider the future is to consider a future without men — well, at least without male-created sperm. In the laboratory, scientists are drawing closer to growing sperm from skin cells. This piece was part of a special New York Times issue on Fertility, published on November 10, 2019.
It’s never been easier for L.G.B.T.Q. people to become parents. We can now adopt and serve as foster parents in every state in the country. Thanks to advancements in assisted reproductive technology, otherwise known as ART, and innovative co-parenting and known-donor arrangements, we’re also having biological children in greater numbers. Despite this progress, a complex network of state laws, regulations and restrictions affect many of our most common paths to parenthood, meaning would-be L.G.B.T.Q. parents can face a far more complicated legal landscape than our straight counterparts. Read the article here.
The process of adopting can be a long, complicated and emotional ride, with far more legal and financial roadblocks than many people assume. But, as most adoptive parents will tell you, it’s also a deeply fulfilling journey. Read the article here.
Trystan Reese was watching a French talk show on which he’d recently appeared as a guest when the following words crept onto the screen, directly below his image: “Le maman est à la gauche.” His French was rusty, but hours of Duolingo lessons weren’t required to get the gist: Trystan, a trans father of three, had just been called a “mother” on Salut les Terriens!, a popular French television program reaching 1.5 million viewers per episode.
If asked to describe a gay dad (like, an actual gay father with actual children), most people would probably picture the following kind of a guy: he’d no doubt be wealthy—a successful lawyer, maybe. He’d be living in an urban area like Los Angeles. And he’d most definitely be raising an adopted Vietnamese daughter alongside his sassy stay-at-home husband who sometimes moonlights as a football coach and professional clown.
“Whose got your nose!” someone was carrying on in falsetto. I was mid-eye-roll before realizing, to my mortification, that it was I who was emitting these horrible noises. It was I who had her nose.
Arriving at my scheduled “donation time,” a technician guides me to the “collection room,” points out my various “entertainment options,” and hands me a sterile cup for my “specimen.”
Wow, what a nasty little bird, I thought. Imagine, tricking someone else into raising your own biological offspring. That’s just so wrong, so… Suddenly it hit me: I’m the cuckoo bird.
“But … I’m so short!” This, unfortunately, will always be the first phrase out of my mouth after my good friends, Tori and Kelly, asked me to be their sperm donor over a pizza dinner in Lower Manhattan.
He found this sign on Facebook that said, “Until further notice, celebrate everything,” Danni explained. The saying has become something of a rallying cry for their family and community. “It’s become our brand now.”
